sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
