Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize