I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
did i walk over a car last night?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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