So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
