That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
