Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize