I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
