Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
