bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
