Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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