You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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