some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
