Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
