Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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