If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
