windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
