Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
