Im at strip club and am horny
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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