is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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