I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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