i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
