Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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