I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
