it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
