I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
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She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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