I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
