I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
