so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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