I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
