you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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