meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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