it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
