if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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