yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
