But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
