I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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