so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
