she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
