need another drink. this is the easiest way
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
