I heard we made out
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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