i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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