If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
