hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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