why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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