He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
