Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
