I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
