well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
