Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
