don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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