Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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