i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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