My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
