my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!