I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality