it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.