Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina

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  (908): They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina http://tfl.nu/9jci
  Replies (8) Good night (571) Bad night (1600)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.

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  (314): I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window. http://tfl.nu/w8zt
  Replies (14) Good night (4505) Bad night (831)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.

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  (409): There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won. http://tfl.nu/om0u
  Replies (2) Good night (1000) Bad night (1630)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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  (435): Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed. http://tfl.nu/zk8r
  Replies (29) Good night (5945) Bad night (1241)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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  (815): at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar? http://tfl.nu/ozqc
  Replies (6) Good night (1821) Bad night (905)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.

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  (314): I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket. http://tfl.nu/rkm9
  Replies (15) Good night (1924) Bad night (696)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."

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  (224): I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning." http://tfl.nu/k4en
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (2045)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

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  (303): YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES (1-303): YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES http://tfl.nu/trz6
  Replies (9) Good night (2489) Bad night (528)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.

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  (509): Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner. http://tfl.nu/7ypr
  Replies (6) Good night (766) Bad night (1404)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.

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  (617): We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over. http://tfl.nu/57ta
  Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (336)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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  (802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4
  Replies (4) Good night (834) Bad night (438)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (348)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

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  (269): He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. http://tfl.nu/cm4y
  Replies (7) Good night (886) Bad night (307)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months

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  (703): just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months http://tfl.nu/j2ye
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (258)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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  (773): He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache http://tfl.nu/46b1
  Replies (10) Good night (150) Bad night (1170)

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