Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?

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  (843): Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm? http://tfl.nu/fqw6
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (866)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (1306) Bad night (1897)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.

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  (970): Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese. http://tfl.nu/mdbn
  Replies (10) Good night (7189) Bad night (930)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.

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  (712): Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it. http://tfl.nu/8ikj
  Replies (35) Good night (1840) Bad night (5080)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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  (519): I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle. http://tfl.nu/aifz
  Replies (11) Good night (3775) Bad night (2036)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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  (561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si
  Replies (11) Good night (3354) Bad night (1322)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.

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  (617): i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line. http://tfl.nu/bi31
  Replies (6) Good night (1028) Bad night (2691)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?

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  (973): Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet? http://tfl.nu/ol6s
  Replies (6) Good night (1874) Bad night (1183)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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  (907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0
  Replies (13) Good night (2373) Bad night (729)
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  (619): View more from California

  The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.

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  (619): The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out. (1-619): Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl. http://tfl.nu/aous
  Replies (10) Good night (2928) Bad night (585)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Do you have paint?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Paint? I wish

  (727): View more from Florida

  OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING

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  (352): Do you have paint? (727): Paint? I wish (727): OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING http://tfl.nu/qyml
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (427)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking

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  (919): my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q3af
  Replies (5) Good night (486) Bad night (319)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.

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  (910): Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music. http://tfl.nu/9l8h
  Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (297)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower

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  (603): the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower http://tfl.nu/z3nh
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (220)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...

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  (630): Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals... http://tfl.nu/ojmb
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (261)

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