Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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(214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8

Replies (37) Good night (8445) Bad night (779)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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(317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4

Replies (6) Good night (1047) Bad night (4858)
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(816): View more from Missouri

That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again

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(816): That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again http://tfl.nu/xxfj

Replies (68) Good night (13224) Bad night (2589)
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(562): View more from California

I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.

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(562): I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up. http://tfl.nu/b3gr

Replies (5) Good night (2686) Bad night (875)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.

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(803): That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose. http://tfl.nu/x4y6

Replies (7) Good night (1131) Bad night (1755)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.

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(678): I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club. http://tfl.nu/jmao

Replies (13) Good night (1192) Bad night (669)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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(860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552

Replies (1) Good night (1554) Bad night (763)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

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(867): We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/l33f

Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (531)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this

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(708): Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this http://tfl.nu/2xjb

Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (1573)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.

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(647): Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor. http://tfl.nu/ry4y

Replies (8) Good night (1549) Bad night (559)
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(253): View more from Washington

Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

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(253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y

Replies (6) Good night (806) Bad night (364)
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(317): View more from Indiana

That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.

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(317): That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal. http://tfl.nu/kp6j

Replies (0) Good night (775) Bad night (450)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.

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(570): Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM. http://tfl.nu/zh91

Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (327)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.

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(609): Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents. http://tfl.nu/lxxo

Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (433)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.

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(704): I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey. http://tfl.nu/chz9

Replies (6) Good night (464) Bad night (256)

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