I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
