Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dignity is for republicans.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
