Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
