And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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